Real Life Miss Congeniality

This is a big week of competition. Forget the Stanley Cup Finals (which I almost did last night), the NBA playoffs, the Memorial, or even the French Open (which the American men want to forget every year). Miss Universe 2007 last night and the National Spelling Bee Thursday night. It doesn't get any better than those two events. It's always interesting watching events like these, so here's my thought process as last night's Miss Universe took place live from the National Auditorium in Mexico City on NBC.

• Parade of Nations: My top 15 were Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cyprus, Denmark, Finland, France, Greece, India, Japan, Mexico, Peru, USA.
• Slovenia looks just like Paris Hilton.
• With the pageant being held in Mexico City, that means altitude is a factor. Will the contestants have enough endurance to last despite the high elevation?
• The duo of Mario Lopez and Vanessa Minillo is a lot better than Nancy O'Dell and Billy what's his face from Access Hollywood.
• Mario is so old, he hosted Vanessa's 1999 Miss Teen USA win.
• The reigning Miss Universe appears for the first time without her crown?!?!?! Is it gone, is something up?
• The real top 15: Venezuela, Thailand (huh?), Denmark, Nicaragua, Angola (proudest moment other than getting beaten by the Dream Team to open the '92 Olympics), Slovenia (I guess that Paris Hilton look paid off), USA, Brazil, India (absolutely gorgeous), Mexico (when does the host country's rep not advance?), Japan, Ukraine, Tanzania, Korea, and the Czech Republic.
• The top 15 run off stage, and with running comes, well some bouncing.
• NBC introduces their new take on The Bachelor. "Tennis star" Mark Philippoussis will star in the Age of Love where he will choose between 40 year old and 20 year old women for his bride. Philippoussis won 11 career pro tennis titles, his biggest being at Indian Wells, one of the 9 biggest tournaments after the 4 grand slams. He played in 2 grand slam finals, the '98 US Open and '03 Wimbledon. Unfortunately, Philippoussis has been compared to Anna Kournikova for his good looks but disappointing results. In my opinion, Philippoussis had a solid pro career. He did actually win tournaments, which Kournikova didn't do obviously. But he did not realize his full potential. Nicknamed "Scud", Philippoussis's serves consistently hit the 130-140 mph range. However, his volleying was inconsistent and his groundstrokes were never very good. As his career wore on, he had a lot of knee problems, pretty much ending his career. Still, Philippoussis could have any woman he wanted. Why is he on this tv show? This upcoming relationship won't last.
• Asia has as many representatives in the top 15 as Latin and South America combined, that's different.
• Because Hispanics are now the #1 minority in the US, can the US be considered part of Latin America?
• Now it's time to meet the judges and see how they're affiliated with NBC. Hey, it's Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys quarterback. I wonder how Carrie Underwood feels about this. It's a long way from the football fields of Eastern Illinois to the judges box at Miss Universe.
• Hello Michelle Kwan. Michelle Kwan vs. Miss USA who would win. Mich-elle!!!!!!
• What if a certain Coach Ditka entered the Miss Universe pageant......
• Wake up Statler, here come the bikinis!!!!! Oh we better set our pacemakers..... The judges like Japan, I like India. I think India is amazing with Brazil a close 2nd.
• The background music for the Swimsuit competition: RBD? Basically a Spanish combination of the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys put together. Very corny, except the lead girl singer is attractive. These guys sold out the LA Coliseum? Guess there was nothing else going in LA that night, at all!!!!
• Another reason why I like India: I can see a little Kate Middleton in her.
• Korea's name is Honey Lee. So will she be a Bond girl or a future Austin Powers lover?
• What?!?! Already time for the top 10, after just one event? What a joke. I get 8 of the top 10: Japan, Brazil, Korea, Tanzania, USA, Venezuela, India, Nicaragua, missing Angola and Mexico.
• When revealing the top 10, one of Miss USA's interests is playing with her dog. And there's nothing else you could've thought of????
• Angola's life ambition is to be a Miss Universe judge. She really has high goals.
• I want to know who writes the script the hosts read off because it's a joke. And I wonder how many years some of the lines have been used, come onnnnn.
• Time for the Evening Gown, and nothing sets the mood better for the Evening Gown than Sean Paul playing in the background.
• Angola has really sexy eyes.
• Ohhhh, USA falls on her butt. It's all over for her now. But wait, she recovers nicely and her score gives her a chance to make it to the next round if this is the only event for the last 10.
• After USA's fall, now everyone is walking slowly in their dresses. In fact, after USA, 3 of the next 4 fail to top USA despite her fall, including Mexico. Mexico is out of it, the crowd isn't going to be happy.
• The Final 5: Brazil, Venezuela, Korea, Japan, USA. The crowd isn't happy.
• Now it's time for The Final Question. Brazil is up first and she draws Dave Navarro (yeah, that Dave Navarro). Basically, his question goes like this, "Hey baby, for a man would you like someone wild or conservative."
• Now it's USA's turn and the crowd turns on her like it's the US playing Mexico in soccer in front of 110,000 crazed fans at Azteca Stadium in Mexico City. The crowd is jeering her with boos, whistles and chants of "Mexico" while the question is read and while she answers the question. Very classy. USA doesn't give a great answer, but she still pays respect to the Mexican people, making them shut up and at least making them be respectful to her the rest of the way.
• Before the winner is revealed, it's time to see what Miss Universe wins. She gets a lot of stuff, including BSC swimwear. And guess where BSC swimwear is based. Thailand. Ahh, now I see why she made the top 15.....
• Donald Trump gets booed when he's introduced, the crowd is relentless. I don't think Miss Universe will be coming back to Mexico anytime soon.
• Final results: 5. USA, 4. Korea, 3. Venezuela, 2. Brazil, 1. Japan. Japan's 1st win since 1959. I was surprised since Brazil was my 2nd choice after India.

Well, there you have it. Who knew there could be so much drama in a beauty pageant. For 15 seconds, it turned into a soccer game.