"I only learned sign language for this competition."

Tonight was the annual Miss USA pageant, held in Baltimore this time around. I've watched this, honestly, since I was 6. If you know me, anything to do with geography I liked, so that's why I watched first. Plus, it used to be on during a Friday night in the fall so my mom and I watched, waiting for the following high school football scoreboard to see if my dad's team won or not. This was back in the day when Bob Barker used to host, another reason why I got into it. I'm a sucker for interesting things and to see the guy that hosts the Price Is Right in the morning come back and host a beauty pageant in the evening, the beauty pageant must be big. I don't like to miss big events, so I watched.

So, here's a recap of tonight's pageant:

• My Miss USA predictions were better than my bowl game picks and NCAA bracket. 8 of my Top 15 made it to the 2nd round. Sadly, my #1, Virginia, didn't even make it that far. Brunette, gorgeous, she was robbed. The biggest surprise was Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, if you look up the word "anorexia", her picture is next to it. She was as thin as a rail, and wasn't attractive at all. She made it to the Top 10 as did hometown favorite Maryland, but even being the hometown pick wasn't enough to save her from her the horrid evening gown she wore. Arkansas and West Virginia didn't make it to the Top 10, even though I had them in my top 10 in the evening gown.
  
• 3 of my Top 5 made it to the final round (Florida, Kentucky, Illinois). I liked North Carolina, but she looked uncomfortable in her swimsuit, so I thought that would drop her down. California was a ditz, sorry. She didn't impress me at all. When asked a question about her knowing sign language, her response was, "I don't know sign language that well, I only learned it for this competiton." SHE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN A DUMB BLONDE!!! She admits that she only learned sign language to look good for the judges. PLLLLLLLLEASE!!! Then comes Illinois, who is smoking hot and is asked about her experience with alligators. "Umm, yeah, we went on this boat, ummm, and there were alligators, umm, yeah, in the water all around us, yeah, and, umm, they were scary, hahahaha." Borrowing from my good friend, "How many blow jobs did she have to give to get this far?"
  
• So my Top 5 was Florida (started her own business, intelligent, likes football, and gorgeous), North Carolina (smart, kind, basketball fan, girl next door cuteness), Kentucky (beautiful, average intelligence), Illinois (all looks, no brains), and California (how is she in the last 5). The actual finishing order was North Carolina, California, Kentucky, Illinois, Florida. How Florida finished behind California and Illinois, I'll never know. Florida, if you come up to Oxford, I'll marry you right now.
  

And, some other pageant notes:

• There were 3 18-year olds, yikes!
  
• In the opening dance number (where there was no real dancing), Hawaii had trouble executing a simple spin.
• Delaware had the worst camera presence. I didn't know you could bob your head that many times in 5 seconds.
• Wisconsin's hair was the worst. Maybe that's why she won Miss Congeniality; the other girls felt sorry for her and her hair.
• Oklahoma is a student at Francis Tuttle Vo-Tech, whatever that is. I don't think they have much of an athletic program, that's just a hunch.
  
• The reigning Miss USA is HOTTTTT
• Bob Barker needs to come back and be the host.
• The pageant as a whole is no longer much of a pageant. The interview competition is gone, there's just the final question. And there were 10 judges?!?!?! I was glad to see Raj from the last Apprentice though, I like his charisma.

Let's see, since I last posted, Tiger Woods won his 4th Masters. His chip in on 16 was unbelievable, and you knew with his sense of history, he wasn't missing that birdie putt in the playoff since that was the same putt Sandy Lyle and Phil Mickelson had in previous years. He'll win at St. Andrews later this year since he can get away with wild drives. I think he'll contend at Pinehurst, but I like my man Phil to win since he came oh so close there 6 years ago. Kudos to Chris DiMarco for competing as hard as he did and providing the drama on the Back Nine. Seriously, Augusta's Good Ol' Boys need to start the TV coverage earlier. 2 of the most exciting hours of golf were unseen.

Finally, on a more serious note, I'd like to send my prayers to the family and friends of the victims of the house fire here in Oxford. That's not the way someone's life should come to an end, especially for the 2 seniors who were a month from graduating. I couldn't imagine losing a friend, whom I'd known for the past 4 years, and not be with them at graduation. So please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.